Being alone sucks

Today is Day 2 of Week 2. I will be out running later, probably around 5, so I can digest my lunch (salad with grilled chicken) and hydrate, since the humidity has been out of control. I've been in a rut the past few days, understandably, I'd say, so my energy is zapped. I haven't eaten a pint of ice cream or even had a sip of alcohol since Sunday. Kind of shocking really, though maybe I should. Damn this trying to lose weight thing.

Getting home from school, I know I should be doing work, but I just don't care right now, which is all types of bad since my poster needs to be done next Friday. It will get done. I always get things done. But then here I am, on the couch, on my computer, and it lets my mind wander and every time it slowly sinks in a little at a time that I'm alone. That he's not coming back home. And boy, does it suck. My animals try to cheer me up, they really do. I have a cat on me right now. But it's not the same. Maybe it's the way it ended, with me cutting it off knowing I was more into this relationship than he was (confirmed) and knowing he's ready to move on while I'm here still struggling to understand what happened the past month. I don't know how to handle it. Break-ups are never easy, I'm told, and so this being my first one, I'm going off what friends and movies tell me. A part of me wants to break down and call him and ask him to try and make this work again, but I know that would be pointless. And I won't. I'm a strong person. And I have amazing friends and family to keep me strong whenever I do waiver.

I guess I'll try to do work and then get up and go for my run! I'll update y'all later.

UPDATE: First, before I describe my run, I happen to get a call from a friend at a perfect time. I was having a mini-crying fit and bam!, phone rings, and it's her. She knew I was teary so she talked me out of it and it worked. I also bought myself "Getting Past Your Breakup", which was highly recommended. Hey, it's my first break-up, I can splurge on these things ;) I can't wait to start reading it.

As for the run, it was another rough one. I should have waited for the sun to be lower because I was running into it and I felt it. Stats: 2.12 miles at 14:31/mile. The runs were getting to me...my calves definitely feel the pain of running every other day.  Apparently I can't count when I run. When I was on what I thought was my second-to-last run leg, I was struggling. I just kept telling myself to finish then I only had one more. After my two minute walk break, I heard the wonderful words: "Cool Down." It was glorious. I'm getting better, slowly, but who cares. I'm doing this for me. I took a peak at Week 3...eek! It's only 28 minutes but includes: the 5 min warm-up and cool-down but the jog/walk is 2 repetitions of: 1.5 min jogging, 1.5 min, 3 minutes jogging, 3 minutes walking. Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but it's just another obstacle to tackle head on. It's time to star incorporating other things too, maybe some bike on my off-run days and I need to get myself into the gym to do weights. I need to lose weight for my health and I'm going to do it...with your help of course :) and a good diet and exercise.