My body...how it aches

Went on a run yesterday for the first time in a loooooo...oong time. Don't know how far, don't know how long. I just had to run out some emotions. I walked some of it, I sprinted some, I took my dog for some of it, it was just good. My quads hated me every time I started running again. And my body hates me today. But in a good way. In a way that says that was a good choice. Why wait till the new year to start. Yesterday was a perfect day to start. And none of this focusing on numbers anymore. Just what feels good and helps me feel better about myself. I deserve goo things but I need to work for them. And we all know I can be stubborn.

Mirrors...

Have you ever looked in a mirror and wondered, "how did I let it get this bad?"  That's definitely how I feel right now. What happened to those days where I lived for the runner's high, the feeling of accomplishment...how did I let it get this bad. If the mirror wasn't incentive enough, add a camera, a scale and dumb boys breaking up with you for the skinny girl.

And I have a awesome friends (that's all of you, plus people too cool for blogger apparently) who try and encourage me (or guilt me in the case of one, ahem, you know who you are). It's the intrinsic motivation that is lacking. And I feel motivated but then I look in that mirror an just can't see nything beyond what I am. And back to the beginning of fear of failure. What's a girl to do? No, seriously, what do I do?

Guess I led myself astray...

(See what I did there. Use the title of my blog, lol)